Today I’m bringing you a guest post from my friend Natalie Snapp. She is an author, blogger, and speaker – and she excels at each one! You can find her blog at www.nataliesnapp.com where she shares her passion for faith and life. I know that you’ll enjoy this article! Please head over to her website and show her some love as well!!
Sixteen years ago, Jim Carrey starred in a movie called “The Truman Show” in which he did the same thing, day-in and day-out with the same people.
Sometimes, family life feels like “The Truman Show”, doesn’t it?
The everyday mundane isn’t exciting. It’s not glamorous and it’s certainly not enthralling enough to morph into a Hollywood film (unless, of course, you’re Jim Carrey).
It’s because of this everyday mundane we sometimes forget to say the things we should say to our spouse because we tend to take so much for granted.
However, when we fail to communicate even the little things we think our spouse should already know, we unintentionally ignite the kindles of a fire that could burn our marriage to the ground.
On Tuesday, Tim posted “Ten Things Every Husband Needs to Hear From His Wife” on my blog; today, I’m here to offer ten things every wife needs to hear from her husband:
- You are beautiful – no matter what. No, maybe her abs aren’t as taut as they once were. Maybe she has a few more fine lines around her eyes and there’s more flesh were there was once muscle. Like it or not, your wife’s body will change. A mature and real love sees the woman whose body birthed your children and whose fine lines were created from laughter.
- I’ll take the kids out this afternoon so you can be at home by yourself. Guys . . . you want to earn big points with your wife? Do. This. You’re welcome.
- I appreciate all you have sacrificed for our family. Regardless of whether or not your wife is a stay-at-home mom or one who works outside of the home, she has sacrificed her own aspirations and dreams at least for a little while. Sometimes she just needs to be reminded that she made the right choice.
- You are a really, really good mom. Oh my stars, guys. This mothering thing . . . let me just tell you, we don’t always think we’re doing it very well. The problem is . . . very few of us became the mom we thought we would be. Before I had kids, I envisioned healthy, organic meals with crafts every day and trips to the library where we would read for hours and . . . well, you get my point. I was a much better mother before I had kids because who knew it would be so hard? She needs to hear that even though she isn’t the mom she thought she would be, she’s actually a better mom than she thought she would be because she’s real.
- You make me want to be a better man. Married couples should both be growing individually and as a couple. When you strive to better yourself, you tell your wife “I love you and I want to be offer you the best I can be.”
- Let’s go on vacation – just you and me. A friend of mine recently shared her “2 by 2 by 2” rule – a date night at least every two weeks, an overnight away or with the kids out of the house every two months, and a vacation without the children every two years. Spending time together without having to take care of anyone else while making new memories as a couple is a recipe for deeper intimacy.
- Let’s watch a movie and cuddle. Really. Just cuddle. OK, now hear me out on this one, guys . . . I am typically one who speaks-up about the male need for sex. I understand God made men to be visual creatures who desire to connect with their wives physically. I also often advise women to never use sex as a bargaining tool (if you do this, then you’ll get this . . . ) or withhold sex. But . . . sometimes we just want to veg-out in front of the television and eat a big bowl of popcorn. If sex happens at the end of the night, great. If not, great, too. When you take the time to connect with us like this, the sex will likely come without any bargaining . . . Trust me.
- What can I do to help you? We can get really, really overwhelmed with details you wouldn’t even possibly imagine in your wildest dreams. This will take her stress-level down a few notches and show her she can depend on you as her partner.
- I see you. This one sounds funny, doesn’t it? However, if you only knew that we sometimes feel very unseen, it doesn’t. I can do three loads of laundry, sweep the floors, meal plan, cut coupons and go grocery shopping without one person taking note. I’m not having a pity party for myself; but sometimes it feels really insignificant and well just . . . boring. When my husband says “I see all that goes in to managing this home and I appreciate it so much,” it makes me feel like what I’m doing is actually pretty important. Of course, deep-down we know this – but I’m not going to lie . . . it’s still nice to hear.
- Why don’t you call some friends and go out to dinner? Or better yet, go away for a girls’ weekend? Did you know that women who don’t have a strong network of female friends pose the same risk to their health as smoking and being overweight? It’s in your best interest to encourage your wife to have healthy relationships with her friends because she’ll be healthier. A healthier wife means a happier wife and a happier wife means a happier husband . . .
So there you have it, guys. You’re welcome. Which one (or ones!) will you use tonight? Ladies, is there anything you would add to this list?
Natalie Chambers Snapp is first and foremost a follower of Jesus, then wife to Jason, and mom to one spunky daughter and two spirited sons with a crazy amount of energy. Not choosing to follow Jesus until the age of 27, Natalie is passionate about sharing the grace, mercy, and truth of God’s love regardless of your track record. She lives in West Lafayette, Indiana and tries to channel her inner Brother Lawrence by writing about faith in the everyday mundane. The outpourings of her heart can be found at www.nataliesnapp.com in the fleeting moments between being a wife and mother. Natalie’s writing can also be found at the M.O.B Society, Deeper Waters, and the Whatever Girls. Her first book, Heart Sisters: Being the Friend You Want to Have, will be published by Abindgon Press in Spring of 2015. Connect with Natalie on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.