4 Secret Fears That Hold Leaders Back

Can I be completely honest with you? Is this a safe place? Is it ok for me to share something vulnerable?

Yes? Ok, good…

I’m a fearful leader. There, I said it. You’re judging me right now, aren’t you? I understand. I’d probably do the same. But, hear me out…

I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded. I’ve been criticized far more than I’ve been complimented. I’ve been thrown into unfamiliar situations way more often than I’ve found myself somewhere comfortable. And, because of that, I sometimes fear those trends will continue and I’ll end up unemployed, alone and isolated.

Maybe you can relate. I make decisions…worried they won’t work out. I assign tasks…scared they won’t get done. I lead the team into the future…doubting we’ll reach our goals. Sound familiar?

I wish fear wasn’t part of my life. I hope that one day I’ll have so much confidence that fear won’t dare show its face. But, that day isn’t today. And, we leaders do a terrible job of talking about our fears. We don’t want to seem like we don’t have it all together. I get it. But, over many years of leadership, I’ve found that most of us share at least some of these fears.

So, hear this: if you feel fear as you lead, you are completely NORMAL. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it absolutely doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a leader (both are thoughts I’ve had). Here are 4 fears I believe many leaders share. If you have any of them, it could be what’s keeping you from reaching your potential:

4 Fears That Hold Leaders Back

1. Fear of failure.

This goes beyond the normal dislike of failing. Nobody likes to fail. The fear I’m talking about is when you obsess over the possibility of failure. Instead of thinking about what could happen if you succeed, you’re consumed by what will happen if you fail. Ever been there? You get a promotion, and all you can think about is how the last person failed. Or, you lie awake running “what if” scenarios that all end with you getting fired. Fear of failure keeps you in the familiar a little too long and keeps you from accomplishing greater things.

2. Fear of criticism.

This one is tough for me. What people say about me matters to me…more than it should. When I’m criticized, I remember every word and every facial expression. I can still remember specific criticisms from over 20 years ago (I know, I need to let it go). Because of that, I can get paralyzed when criticism is possible. Maybe you’ve been put on a team with the person who criticizes every idea that isn’t theirs. But, as leaders, we can’t let other people’s words keep us from moving the team forward. Fear of criticism leaves you recycling old ideas and limits your creativity. (Here’s how to handle criticism as a leader.)

3. Fear of inadequacy.

Maybe my story is unique, but I’m guessing it’s not. I don’t think I’ve ever led a group or organization where I felt like I fully had what it takes. I always believed I could do the job. But, when I face something new, the comparison game creeps in, and I start thinking about how others could do it so much better. Do you compare yourself too? We look at a co-worker or a peer and assume they have it all figured out. The fear of inadequacy is a no-win game. There will always be someone doing it better…or at least APPEARING to. This fear hides away your gifts until they’re no longer useful to you.

4. Fear of success.

This is the most subtle one. You’re probably thinking there’s NO way you have this fear. But, wait a minute. I’ve seen it over and over. I’ve seen college students about to graduate fail a class just so they don’t have to leave what’s familiar. That’s how this fear usually shows up – comfort. When it’s time for change, do you resist it to stay where things are familiar? Success brings new expectations, new problems and new uncertainty. Your event grew 50% this year, so next year it needs to grow another 50%, which takes more people, energy and budget. Fear of success keeps you comfortable and keeps the organization from moving forward.

These fears have caused me to make poor decisions, no decisions and late decisions. When I’m afraid, I make bad decisions, because fear blinds me to the possibilities. I make no decisions, because fear makes me wait instead of act. And, I make decisions too late, because fear makes me hesitate instead of stepping forward.

Quick Answers

Is it normal for leaders to feel afraid? Yes. Almost every leader feels fear. Courage is acting anyway.

How do leaders overcome fear? Name the fear out loud, talk about it with a trusted peer or coach, and take one small step forward before you feel ready.

So, which of these fears do you connect with? We all have them. I’ve found that talking about them and saying them out loud helps us overcome them. I believe there’s more for you…and I don’t want fear to be the thing holding you back. Comment below and let me know…