Ok, maybe that’s too strong a title for this post. But there is this one question that I seem to get over and over when I’m out at lunch with my wife that messes with my head a little bit. It may not always (or ever) ruin my day, exactly – but it does make me pause and think about why someone would ask me such a question.
“Is this going to be on one check or two?”
What?!?!? Do husbands and wives normally pay separately?!?!?
I’m sure you can see why this question perplexes me so much. My wife and I even hold hands often and gaze into each other’s eyes like married folks do.
So, it leads my analytical mind to begin wondering why we would be asked such a silly question. There are only a few possible responses that I can think of:
- The server thinks that my wife is way too hot to be married to me. And, this is true. She is way too hot to be married to me. I am reminded of this every time I look at pictures of us or when I glance into a mirror. I do not need to be reminded about this fact by a server at a restaurant.
- Since my wife is black and I am white, the server thinks that it is still the early/mid 1900’s and interracial relationships do not and should not exist. I mean, it seems logical, right? If two people of opposite gender and of different races are having lunch together, there is NO possible way that they could be husband and wife. Not in 2014. No way.
- Finally, they ask everyone who comes in to the restaurant this question because they don’t want to assume and get it wrong. It would make sense that, at lunch…especially on a weekday, that there is a man and woman out to lunch together who work together and who are not married.
Ok, maybe I jump to conclusions all too often. But don’t we all begin to weave these stories…especially when we are faced with a hurt or an offense?
“The server is racist.”
“The customer is hateful.”
“The employee is inept.”
“The manager is only out for him/herself.”
Which of the 3 scenarios above do you think is the most likely? Why? Do you ever find that you make up these stories about others when you are hurt or angry? Feel free to comment below and let me know what you think…
I see nothing wrong with the question. It’s possible you’re only friends or co-workers. The serving help doesn’t read minds. I’m asked that question no matter who I’m with. Suppose you two are only friends and she brings out a check for one? Would you be upset that she assumed you were married? Would you rather be asked at the door, where everyone could hear, “Do you need one check because you’re married, or would you like two since you’re out with a lady friend?”
All good thoughts here Connie! Thanks so much for commenting!! Sometimes my emotions get the best of me… 🙂