How to Overcome Perfectionism: The One Method That Works for Me

I’m a perfectionist. There, I said it. It’s something I battle most days of my life. At home…at work…in relationships…literally everywhere.

If you fight this battle too, you know it can have a huge impact on the way you work and live. But, there is hope! I’ve found a way to overcome perfectionism, and it works for me every single time I decide to use it. Here it is:

JUST DO IT!

I know. I know. Groundbreaking. Life-changing. I’m a genius. I appreciate the applause. But, let me explain…

5 Ways Perfectionism Holds Us Back

1. It keeps me from starting.

My perfectionism makes me hesitate before starting a project. I get caught up in thoughts of failure and producing something that isn’t good enough. I’m scared of criticism, and the fear of not delivering something high quality paralyzes me. Instead, I should JUST DO IT. Get started. Begin researching. Begin writing. Start calling.

2. It keeps me from finishing.

Even when I get started, I often can’t bring it to a finish. My inner voice tells me I don’t have the right skills. I tell myself there’s no way it will meet expectations or actually help anyone. So, I start looking for experts who’ve done it before and borrowing their ideas. Instead, I should JUST DO IT. Finish the project. Publish the blog post. Schedule the presentation.

3. It hurts my relationships.

I often feel like I have to be the perfect friend, or else I’m not a good friend at all. I compare myself to others and decide I’m not as good a friend as they are…so why try? So, I don’t reach out to schedule that lunch. I don’t show up when everyone gets together. And, I certainly don’t try to make new friends. Instead, I should JUST DO IT. Schedule the time. Be vulnerable and let my friends in. Go to the event.

4. It affects my family.

I’m often concerned about how good a husband and father I am. Obsessed, really. I want to be the best at both, but I can’t be perfect at either. So, when I fall short, I beat myself up…pretty bad. Then I’m paralyzed again. If I can’t be 100% consistent with date nights with my kids, I don’t do them at all. If I can’t lead daily devotions with my wife perfectly, we don’t do them at all. Instead, I should JUST DO IT. Tell my wife how I feel, even if the words don’t come out exactly right. Schedule the date nights and keep as many as I can, because some are better than none. Try, fail, learn and do better next time…giving myself grace through it all.

5. It decides my sense of worth.

I hold myself to a really high standard. When I fail, no one beats me up worse than I do. The words I hear in my head, especially before something that needs a “perfect” outcome, sound like: I’m not good enough, I’m not prepared enough, I’m going to miss the mark. Those thoughts hold me back from living the life I believe God created me to live. I wait instead of initiating. I wait for others to innovate instead of being the one with the big ideas. Instead, I should JUST DO IT. Stop worrying about what others think. Stop listening to the lies in my head. Start living. Start leading.

In fact, when I “just do it,” I’m often surprised by what I’m able to do. I can’t think of a recent time I took this approach and regretted it. And, each time I “just do it,” the next time gets easier.

Quick Answers

Is perfectionism a strength or a weakness? High standards can be a strength. Perfectionism becomes a weakness when it stops you from starting, finishing or connecting with people.

How do perfectionists get started? Shrink the first step until it feels almost too easy – write one paragraph, make one call – and set a deadline for “good enough.”

Are you a perfectionist? Can you relate to any of these? What’s holding you back, and where do you need to JUST DO IT? Comment below…